Can I get a little warning next time please thanks.

So I had my sonohysterogram today…but let me start from the beginning.

First I got caught in the torrential rain on my way to the appointment.  Started 30 seconds before I parked my car at the parking lot and ended sometime while my legs were still up in the stirrups.  Sun was out by the time I left the building (of course).

So now I’m soaked from the knees down, my shoes and purse which have never seen or felt rain are both soaked.  Thank the gods I had my umbrella with me.

Went in for my appointment, got in almost right away.  Dropped trow and legs up, the nice lady talking about the weather at the other end of table told me that she’d give me a warning when she was going to insert the saline solution, which she didn’t.  It went something like this:

Dr. *squeeze*

Me. “ouch!!”

Dr. “Ok that’s the first one” *pause* *squeeze*

Me. “Ahhrhg!?!”

Dr. “Ok you’ll feel a little more pain now, we’re almost done, *squeeze* just a little more”.

Me. *Eyes rolling back into my head, fists clenched, toes curling trying not to wimper, wanting to punch someone in the head*

Dr. “And we’re all done” That’s it!  That was a very short test wasn’t it?

Me: *in my head* ‘what, that wasn’t 12 years off my life there?’

Dr. “And you’ll never have to have this test again”

Me: *in my head* ‘Damn skippy.’

In the end she told me that my uterus looks “perfect”, “wonderful”, “in great shape”, basically all sunshine and roses.  On the plus side the only cramping I had was when she was squeezing the plunger to insert the solution.  Thank the gods for Advil.  No pain now.

Just the same, I wouldn’t want to do that one again either.

 

virgo

An inner change is starting to take place. It’s more like a new attitude than a personality change. You are still the same individual, but you will begin to see an old nagging issue in a new light. This is a herald of new and wonderful things.

Courtesy of The Toronto Star

 

Wasaga Beach, Ultrasounds and The Dark Knight, Oh My!

Went to Wasaga Beach with my husband and baby sister this past weekend and we had a blast!  I got my drink on since it’s likely the last chance I’m going to have to cut loose now that I’m at the beginning of what will likely be a long run of actually being able to actively ttc.  I felt sooo hungover yesterday morning but it was totally worth it.  Pictures of my weekend and the concert will be posted tonight.  Haven’t had a chance to download them from the camera yet.

In other news I went for my pre-sonohysterogram ultrasound today, and while the actual procedure wasn’t unpleasant, the waiting was.

Dear, imaging office people, don’t make me drink a litre of water an hour before my 9:30am appointment then make me wait until 10:15 before you bring me into the room.  I will be grumpy.  Your truly, me.

Had to pee out “just a little” twice to relieve the pressure on my bladder before my turn came up they were so behind.  Hope they’re not running behind tomorrow since I’m going on my lunch break and I’ll be cutting it close enough as it is.  If they can’t see me within half an hour of me waiting I’ll have to reschedule.

On the up side hubby was able to switch some shifts around and will now a) be going for his blood draw and sperm analysis appointment on Thursday after which he will b) be going to pick my mom up from the airport as she returns from her 2 week trip at 4ish that day.  What a good man he is.  I should be a good wife and cook dinner or something for him this week.  Maybe do the laundry too.

And in even more other news, the man and I went to see The Dark Night last night and I have to say, you must go see this movie.  Matter of fact, stop reading this and go see it now. Right now.  I’ll wait for you to get back…..

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

You back?

Did you go see it?

Awesome right!

I know!

This movie was the best movie I have seen this year so far, bar none.  Nothing else even comes close.  Granted, there are a bunch of movies I still have to see, but really, The Dark Knight is that damn good.

The story, the action, the bat toys, the costumes, the makeup, all of it, two thumbs up.  All the way.  And as for my man Heath Ledger (so tragic), I won’t be surprised if the stuck up academy doesn’t give him the little gold man, but hot damn he basically knocked that one out of the park.  No one can touch him he was that friggin good. Seriously.

seriously

 

25 Live

still the man

And in other news, I indulged in my “I’m a child of the 80’s” ness last night when I acted like a little school girl at the George Michael concert  25 Live last night.  It was truly Amazing!  The man can SING.  He is seriously one of the most talented artists and one of my long time favourites.  The concert was just great.  Took lots of pictures and some video which I will post later.

 

lol :)

if you don't get this, you need to watch Ghostbusters but quick.

 

curse you tiny veins!!!

only 6 of these bad boys this time

Went for my day 3 blood testing today.  2 technicians, 2 needle sticks and 6 vials later and I’m back at work, and only 45 minutes late.

This is the part of my life I like to call, “This happens to me every time”.

First I have to explain for the billionth time that the first name on my health card is not the name I generally use so yes they have also put the shortened version of it on my file.  Anyone with a foreign sounding name Iike I’ve got will understand this.  It also happens to me even more now that my married name is very Canadian sounding while my maiden name is not.  People see my name and they are expecting a European looking Canadian girl and they get me. Nigerian as can be.  Frustrating sometimes but what can you do.

Second, when they ask me which vein they can use I tell them whichever one they can find because I’ve got tiny, tiny veins.  They don’t believe me (cocky? yes) and then they spend 10 minutes all tying me up with rubber, making fists, bending my arm, poking, pressing, and, what do you know, no vein.  They start on one arm with a regular needle, blow the vein, then try the other arm with the butterfly needle. 2 sticks.  Pros can get it with one.  I usually get to know the technicians after a while and know who to tell right off the bat “you should probably use the butterfly needle on this arm” because I remember what we went through the last time even if they don’t.  Some tech’s don’t like to be told how to do their jobs, but hey, it’s my arm(s) and I don’t like “pro’s” jabbing me with needles all morning long.  Then you start to get the sympathy looks from other infertiles who have veins the size of cannons who can’t help but tell me that they’re lucky and it must really suck for me.  Yes. It does.  Don’t need your pitty today sweetie.

But I digress.  The day 3 blood testing went fine.  Moving on.

 

i am woman (barely)

AF finally kicked in a few hours ago and it’a about damn time!, I was thisclose to losing my mind!! so I’ve been able to book my next round of appointments.

Thursday - Day 3 bloodwork

Monday - Ultrasound

Tuesday - Sonohysterogram

 

out damn spot

So yes, stills potting. But at least today there’s some progress (kind of).  I’ve got some very, very mild cramps today. Hoping against hope that means my period will start today or tomorrow (though with my luck, it won’t).  This is so ridiculous.  On the bright side, my hubby, noticing how bummed out I’ve been lately, has been showering me with plenty of hugs. That helps me get through the day.

 

my nightmare

shedding many tears today

I’m also feeling depressed because it’s been exactly 1 year since the miscarriage.  The spotting had started on July 9th and did not stop.  On July 16th I had an ultrasound during which they could not find a heartbeat, but the technician wouldn’t tell me anything.  I had to wait for my dr (or should I say, former dr) who was on vacation and wouldn’t be back until who knows when.  On the 19th I went to the hospital because the bleeding was getting worse and I still couldn’t get a hold of my dr. Had another ultrasound and beta. My worse nightmare was confirmed.

It’s been a year since this nightmare started.  And nothing has gotten better.  It’s only gotten worse.

And I wish I could talk to my husband about it.  But our tragedy didn’t affect him as much as it has devistated me (if at all).  He doesn’t understand that I live with this nightmare every. single. day.  And I know that this is probably just my hormones going all wacko (pleasegodpleasepleaseletmyperiodcome), but I can’t help whats in my heart.  Most days I just ignore the feeling. But today, I just want to tell my boss that I’m sick and I want to go home and not come back until sometime next month.

 

depression 1, AF 0

So I woke up depressed today.  Hell of a way to start a Monday.  I took my last provera pill on Tuesday last week and as of my last didn’t-have-to-pee-but-went-to-the-bathroom-to-check-for-af-anyways break about half an hour ago still no sign or evidance that I am in fact a woman of childbearing age.   I even took my temperature this morning. 36.48. Low enough for me to know that the effects of the Provera have worn off by know, but apparetly not low enough for the freak show to move on to the next level of hell.  Or am I in hell already?  I can’t tell.  Sucks either way.

So since I know that it can take up to 10 days for af to show, I’ll wait (what else is new).  With my luck it will come on the weekend next weekend when I can’t call anyone to schedule anything.  The place where I’m supposed to go for my sonohystogram is only open monday to friday from 10am to 4pm.  Which means if my period shows up after 4 on friday this week, I’ll be totally screwed out of being able to schedule the procedure this cycle (such as it is), which means I’ll have to wait for all my other test results because they won’t diagnose me or give me the results until all the testing has been done and all the results are in.

I have a headache.